this is like the 3rd time in the past month & a half that i’m going out without babies.  tonight i’m going out to eat & i want to not totally blow my diet but i love love eating out & will most likely hork down everything in sight. guilt later.

speaking of diet…i have been on a diet for almost a week now & i haven’t dropped a pound. same sort of diet i put myself on back in the day before i got married.  it was extrememly effective for me then.  i’m hoping it’s building up & will start flying off soon. because i’m disapointed & hungry.

seriously though i have eating issues. it takes everything i have to control my food intake.  i swear i would eat 5000 calories a day if i didn’t watch it.

i’m feeling good & hopeful. the kids are getting slightly more independant & i am getting back a part of my identity that has been missing since having two kids that own my soul.

i have ideas & inspiration & now i just need to start working. i’m getting things done in our home…routinely organizing & figuring out how to make our days- our lives- run smoother & better.

i have decided it’s time to drop the baby weight too. a lot all at once but i have to strike while the mood allows.

i have only used my new camera for work & a few random shots of noah & chloe.

i seriously need to come up with some fun photo shoots. i used to really love that.

i’m thinking of making my own because i found a big flat bead that i really like & chloe likes it too (she’s the more important critic in this situation).

she has been pinching me over the edge lately & pops off a trillion times if there is even a bit of distraction. so i’m hoping this will help. i’ll post photos when i get it underway.

& she has an amber teething necklace & i love it so much that i want one for myself now. so pretty.

chloe was up practically the whole night. again. she is coughing & i’m pretty sure her throat is sore. poor girl. no sleep for me…but i don’t think i’ve slept for an entire night for over 2 years. is that crazy? i can hardly stand thinking about it like that. noah started sleeping through the night about a month before chloe was born but the last month of pregnancy is not ideal for catching up on sleep.

so..she’s sick. i’m tired. & noah is most certainly going to start soon & he’s bad when he’s well.

so far i’ve not been able to really try to enjoy the holiday season. i’ve done very little in the way of christmas shopping…no decorations yet really. i’ve taken on more than i can handle & i can feel people breathing down my neck for their photos. everyone wants theirs before christmas. i’m going to have to stay up a few nights to make this happen & i’m already exhausted.

not getting into this now but noah’s dental work/surgery has me down. it’s over, he’s fine, but i feel defeated. i can not stop thinkung about it & how it all played out.

i’ve been swamped photographically speaking so any time spent on the computer is time spent editing/ordering. i’m going to post some of my recent work soon though because i’m really happy with the way things have been coming out lately.